In 1990, Pamela Smart was convicted of persuading her 16-year-old boyfriend to kill her husband. Now, she wonders what it will be like to die in prison.
She's the central figure in a murder case so lurid it inspired the movie To Die For, starring Nicole Kidman.
Now, 25 years after her infamous 1990 crime, Pamela Smart says prison is worse than she could have imagined.
She told INSIDE EDITION, "Some days, I really wonder 'Am I ever going to get out of here?' 'What's it going to be like to die in here?'" She added, "When I start thinking like that, I wish that I would have had the death penalty rather than life in prison."
The Pam Smart Case riveted the nation. At age 22, she was accused of persuading her teenage lover to murder her husband, Gregg.
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Gregg was shot dead in their home in New Hampshire. Although she admitted having an affair with the teen, she denied any role in the murder.
She was asked in court, "Did you know what had happened to your husband in that house?"
"No," she replied.
But the teenager, 16-year-old Billy Flynn, played by Joaquin Phoenix in the movie, testified that Smart seduced him to kill her husband.
He said, "The only way that she could see for us to be together was if we killed Gregg."
Pam was convicted and sentenced to life without parole.
INSIDE EDITION's Les Trent spoke to her 25 years, to the day, after her husband's murder and got a sense of her life behind bars.
She told Trent, "I'm trying to get out. People fight a lot. They fight over everything - the phone, the TV, the ice machine, the washing machine, anything. I was jumped by two people. I ended up having to have plastic surgery on my face and have a plate put in my face."
Trent asked, "Do you ever fantasize about escaping?"
She replied, "No, because I'm too famous."
Pam is serving her life sentence at the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility outside New York City. It is a maximum security women's lockup surrounded by affluent neighborhoods. And while life goes on out here, for Pamela Smart it is forever suspended in time.
Technological advances, like cell phones, are a mystery for her.
She said, "I've never even seen one except for on TV - or the internet."
Trent asked, "You've never used the internet?"
"They don't have internet access here," responded Pamela.
Billy Flynn, now 41, was recently granted parole. He is due to be released by June.
She told Trent, "It makes me angry. I have a hard time understanding how they have so much forgiveness for the person who actually killed Gregg and none for me."
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She still denies any role in her husband's murder.
Trent asked, "So few people actually believe you when you say you had nothing to do with the ordering of the murder of your husband."
"Well there actually are a lot of people who believe me," she replied.
One woman, Eleanor Pam, is one of them. She said, "I think she should get out. And not only that, I don't think she should have ever spent a single day in prison."
Prosecutors disagree, saying, "Pam Smart was the one who orchestrated her husband's murder. But for her actions, Gregg Smart would be alive today."
And, one member of Gregg Smart's family calls Pam Smart "the devil."
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