In her new book, the former NAACP senior official says had even contemplated suicide.
The former NAACP chapter president, who sent shockwaves across America as it was revealed she was a white woman posing as black, has continued to maintain she is the latter.
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"I'm not white — whiteness doesn't represent my philosophy, my culture, anything about who I am," Rachel Dolezal told Inside Edition.
It's been nearly two years since Dolezal was outed for posing as a black woman. She taught African Studies at a university in Washington state and was even president of the Spokane chapter of the NAACP.
But then her parents came forward, revealing that Dolezal was not who she seemed.
“Our daughter is primarily German and Czech — and of European descent. She's white — she's white,” her mom said.
When asked by Inside Edition how her relationship is with her parents now, Dolezal said: "There's no relationship."
Dolezal says her life fell apart when she was exposed, and recounts the story in her new book, In Full Color.
She said that since the scandal broke, she's been having difficulty finding employment.
Read: Rachel Dolezal's Mother: 'Never Indicated As A Young Child She Identified As A Black Girl
"It's been impossible to find fulltime stable work," she said. "I didn't even get a callback after the job application," she said, even from positions involving stocking shelves, she said.
Dolezal maintains that it's possible to choose your race, and has chosen to be black.
"I've [apologized]," she said. "I've totally owned that I was born to white parents, but I still have an authentic black identity."
In the book, Dolezal says she always felt she was a black woman trapped in a white body.
"People would definitely see my younger childhood photos and say I look white," she said. “That person was repressed and suppressed and not allowed to be her true self."
She started to change her appearance and identify as black when she went to college, and later married a black man. At one point, she even pretended a different man was her biological father in a Facebook post.
She apologized for her deceptions, saying, "I'm sorry — I am who I am. This has happened to me throughout my entire life. It's been two decades of people trying to convince me I'm black, or I'm white, or I'm mixed. And I'm me."
"But I'm almost 40 years old now, and I know who I am and I'm completely comfortable with that," she said.
She has found it difficult to find a job and has been getting by on food stamps, she said.
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