There are only 12 states in the U.S. that ban those under 18 from getting married. Almost 300,000 children were married in the U.S. between 2000 and 2018, many of whom were girls marrying adult men, according to the Journal of Adolescent Health.
Brittany was just 18 when she found the strength to leave a marriage she was forced into while she was still a girl. Now she has dedicated herself to sharing her story to spread awareness of the issue of child marriage, which she and others say is more widespread than many realize.
"I am a child marriage survivor in the United States," says Brittany, now 28, who makes TikTok videos about her experiences under the name Brittany Bee. "My abuse started at 13."
Brittany, who asked that Inside Edition Digital withhold her last name out of concern for her safety, says an emotionally vulnerable teen being raised in a patriarchal Utah society, it was difficult to tell her parents, particularly her father, about the abuse. "It wasn't a safe place to come to him and say, ‘Hey, these men have come into my life and they've made me do things that I'm ashamed of.’"
Brittany was first abused by a man who eventually passed her off to his friend, she says. "And that friend abused me for about three years, and then I was forced into a marriage to him," she says.
The forced marriage came after Brittany, who after several years of abuse at the hands of that second man, had been convinced to cross state lines with him, was found by authorities and brought back to her family. "The police are badgering me, ‘Did you sleep with this man? Did you sleep with this man?’ And then they tell me, ‘Well, it's legal here in the state of Utah as long as you are 16 and he is not over 10 years your age difference.’ So as you can see, there are many other laws in place that are not necessarily protecting children how they could be."
Several weeks after she was returned home, Brittany says she was surprised to find her abuser at her doorstep. He had come to see her father. "They went out to dinner, they came home and they said, ‘Brittany, you're getting married.’ And I couldn't believe it," she says.
"I was 17 at the time of my marriage," she continues. "He was an adult for the entire duration of the abuse."
She says no one asked for her consent to marry. "Nobody asked me anything," she says. "I was just a scared 17-year-old girl who had been manipulated and groomed and abused sexually, physically, emotionally, psychologically."
What Brittany endured is, according to experts in the child marriage advocacy space, not entirely uncommon. To date, there are only 12 states that ban those under the age of 18 from getting married, with zero exemptions, including instances of pregnancy or parent permission. Almost 300,000 children were legally married in the U.S. between 2000 and 2018, and many of those children were girls who married adult men, according to a study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health.
"As a minor, typically if you leave home, you're a runaway. In some states, that's a status offense. Minors typically are not allowed to bring a legal action in their own name, which means in many states they're not even allowed to file for divorce. Their parent can enter them into a marriage and they have to wait until 18 to end that marriage," says Fraidy Reiss, the founder of Unchained At Last, a nonprofit organization dedicated to ending forced marriage and child marriage in the U.S.
Reiss was just 19 when she says she was forced to marry a stranger within her family’s community in Brooklyn. "This stranger turned out to be violent, something I learned exactly one week after our wedding," she says. She was in that marriage for 15 years.
"There was no honeymoon period, it was just an abusive and violent marriage from the first week. And yet, because of religious laws and social customs, I was trapped," she says. "There was really no way out for me, starting with the fact that I was forced to have unprotected sex with him and forced to have two children without my consent. And then because I was also forced to remain financially dependent on my husband, not allowed to have my own job, or bank account, or credit card, that made escape very, very difficult."
It took five years for Reiss to secretly save enough money to apply to college, and five more years before she secured a job in journalism and was able to move her children out of that environment and file for divorce. Those made to marry as children face similar, if not even more severe, hurdles when attempting to leave.
"Marriage before age 18 also destroys almost every aspect of an American girl's life," says Reiss. "Her health, her education, her economic opportunities, even her physical safety is undermined by marriage before age 18."
Research published in the National Library of Medicine says women in the United States who married before the age of 18 are about 31 percent more likely to live in poverty when they get older, as compared to women who marry later.
After turning 18, Brittany escaped her marriage with nearly nothing but the clothes on her back.
"I left in the middle of the night and I was homeless." Brittany says, "I called my mom, she was not willing to take me in. I called my grandparents. They said, ‘We don't have any space for you, but we can loan you some money.’"
Brittany used her grandparents’ money to buy a car, which became her mode of transport and her shelter to sleep in. She got a job at Gold's Gym so that she could shower while she was living in her car, and eventually, her aunt who lived in Nevada told her to stay with her. She worked for her aunt's business and saved money before eventually being able to petition for her divorce online.
After she was freed from her marriage, Brittany enlisted in the U.S. Army and served for seven years as a Military Police Corps Reservist.
Today, Brittany is laser-focused on one overarching goal: eradicate child marriage in this country once and for all. While it may seem a lofty goal, Reiss believes it's attainable. And the power to see significant change made in this arena lies with lawmakers, she says.
"Where we're getting the pushback that's holding up the legislation is from legislators who are assuming that their religious constituents would somehow be offended, even though that's clearly not the case," she says. "Or legislators who simply do not understand the issue and start romanticizing marriage. 'It's about young love.' Or legislators who are not embarrassed to say, 'I'm just old-fashioned. I believe if a girl gets pregnant, she has no choice but to marry, even if she was raped.'"
"Child marriage "can end it so easily with this simple, common sense legislation," Reiss continues. "And yet, states across the U.S., most U.S. states right now, 38 U.S. states, are resisting that."
But Reiss takes heart in the allies she has found. "One of the wonderful things about this is that what we have found is, every major religion has come out in support of making the marriage age 18, no exceptions," she says. "We have had Christian, Jewish, and Muslim faith leaders stand with us, testify with us to urge 18, no exceptions."
It's a movement that has gained momentum, but still often goes unnoticed, Reiss says. But the work she and Brittany are doing is very much on the radar of those who have first-hand experience with this issue.
"It is incredible how many women and men have come to me and said, ‘Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am not in a place where I'm able to do what you're doing,'" Brittany says.
The work is "extraordinarily healing, and empowering, and very emotional to be able to be there for people who are experiencing what I experienced," Reiss says. "And when I went through it, there was no one for me to turn to."
Now a fitness instructor, Brittany uses triathlons to bring attention to forced and underage marriages in the U.S. At each of her competitions, Brittany wears a sign that says, "Child marriage is still legal in the United States."
"I'm going to run, swim and bike 3,000 miles to raise awareness about child marriage. I'm a survivor of child marriage," she says. "I want to do everything that I can to end this human rights abuse.
"I absolutely believe that within my lifetime we can end child marriage in the United States," Brittany continues. "And I am going to swim, bike, and run and continue to tell my story as loud as I can because these kids deserve to be protected."
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